Posted by: Ben | August 16, 2008

Silver Age: Counter Strike: Source

(videogame. PC. Valve, 2004.)

Is anybody you know a terrorist? Have you observed your neighbours behaving suspiciously? Learning to fly planes, but showing no interest in landing them, that kind of thing? Counter Strike: Source wouldn’t be much use as a terrorist training tool though (although curiously there is an element of suicide bombing).

Here’s how it goes. Log into a server. Receive comedy pea-shooter. Earn money for better weapons by killing other players, if you can a) avoid being blinded by grenade fire then shot in the head, and b) navigate the buy menu in the 0.03 seconds the game allows. Oh, and don’t shoot your team, who you’ll recognise by the fact they dress exactly the same as the other team but haven’t shot you dead yet.

CS:Source also features the natty physics of the Source engine, which make less difference to the game than a nice comfy bulletproof helmet would.

Because everyone else on the internet has been playing for about 18 hours a day since Quake came out, there’s absolutely no point playing this (or any other first-person shooter) unless you’re already absolutely brilliant at it, in which case you don’t want to be told you’ve been wasting your time. Otherwise it’s about as much fun as arm wrestling Chuck Norris.

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